2/02/2021

Filipino Parenting Traits Modern Parents Should Try to Avoid


Filipino parents are among the most loving and supportive parents in the world. However, they can also among the most toxic parents with some cultural things that are quite common to Filipinos no matter where they are.

 

Raising kids is hard enough; parenting in a cross-cultural setting makes it even harder. That is why most Filipino parents default to the traditional Filipino parenting ways because that is their comfort zone. However, not everything that Filipino parents do is helpful and relevant these days.

 

There are some things that we can improve and perhaps even do away with, even if it is already part of the Filipino culture. After all, not everything cultural and traditional is beneficial in the long run.

 

Toxic Things Most Filipino Parents Do that Filipino Parents Should Avoid


Avoiding some of the most toxic things that most Filipino parents do does not mean we're raising a generation of snowflakes but it is ensuring that our children do not grow up with the same emotional hang-ups and mental baggage that our generation has. Freeing them from these things will enable them to do far greater things than what our generation can do.

 

Comparing their children with others

One of the worst things that can break a child's self-esteem and confidence is when their parents start comparing them to other people. The moment parents do this, a child shirks back and becomes more insecure, which can lead them to not realizing their full potential.

 

Statements like, "Why can't you be more like your sister and do well in school" or "You should do what your brother is doing because that's what a boy should be like" are damaging and will leave children scarred for life. Their minds will be in a constant battle against insecurity and wanting to prove something.

 

Raising children to become their retirement investments

It is the parents' job to provide for their children. It does not end, neither is there a point where the roles will be reversed. Unfortunately, a lot of Filipino parents raise children with their retirement in mind; that as long as they raise successful kids with brilliant careers, their needs will be taken care of when they're in their golden years.

 

It doesn't and shouldn't work that way. Children should never have the burden of providing for their parents when they grow older. As parents, your responsibility is to prepare your children for a successful life and to prepare for your retirement. Believing that your children owe you for all the time, energy, and resources you put into raising them is a mindset that should be broken.

 

Tyrannical and dictatorial parenting

Filipinos are very conservative and somewhat traditional people. While this is one of their endearing and interesting qualities, it can also manifest in unpleasant ways such as totalitarian parenting at home.

 

Many Filipino parents tend to pull rank at home in all aspects of a child's life, leaving their hands tied behind their backs, unable to decide for themselves and what they want for their lives. This kind of parenting is the type that tells their kids "it's my way or the highway." In households where parents are tyrannical and dictatorial, kids are left with no say at all on important matters involving their lives and their interests. These are the types of parents that will impose what they believe is best for their kids because they think they know better.

 

This type of toxic parenting could lead to people ending up in careers they don't like. For instance, not all doctors want to be doctors. If you talk to some of them, they will tell you it was their parents' decision for them to go to med school.

 

If you ask them what they would rather do, some would say they want to be professional dancers. Others would say they would rather own a ranch and hold on to horse tacks and reins the whole day living the simple life of a farmer and livestock breeder. Perhaps others would say they have always wanted to serve in the military.

 

While there's nothing wrong with being a doctor; in fact, it's a noble job, a lot of childhood dreams have been crushed by parents who imposed their will upon their children's' with no regard whatsoever for their children's dreams and ambitions.

 

Unrealistic standards and expectations from their children

Some of the best professionals, tradesmen, and skilled workers in the world are Filipinos. Their resilience and drive make them excel in what they do. Their drive for excellence is one of the qualities that have caused them to end up in different countries all over the world. It seems like wherever you go, you're bound to run into a Filipino.

 

However, this quest for excellence, this drive to be successful, has caused a lot of heartbreaks for a lot of Filipino children who are held to a certain standard by their parents. Actually, those standards are really high which can somehow already be unrealistic or too burdensome on a child. It can even get to the point that a child's schedule is so laden with activities that he or she no longer has time to enjoy being a kid.

 

Parenting is a privilege not given to everyone. It may be easy to make babies but it takes so much character to raise a child. Parents should be more careful and thoughtful with how they raise their kids to enable and empower the next generation to be ten times better than this present generation.



**Image source: Pexels.com

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